I can no more shop in Millets,
the sartorial choice of men,
where shorts are twenty quid,
but such shopping trips must end!
She Who Must Be Obeyed
is getting rather strict,
my clothes should be top labels –
the ones that she will pick.
So throw out my Peter Storm,
discard my beige collection,
no more windproof anoraks –
blown away by her rejection:
Instead it’s top notch brands,
to be found on our High Street,
but only if they’re second hand,
costing no more than five quid.