Weddings & Funerals

There will be weddings [& funerals]
I will not attend – because of word-
inversions to ease senseless greed/

See me counting out my money? I
am disposed towards vanity – but
not full-on [I’ll not fuck over such!]

I walk towards a sunrise – blinded
by ugly sights of burns [if you pull
back blisters & skin they’ll ooze to

a clear fluid – blood’ll follow later]
See – a splinter bursting from my
palm/ It was sunk a week before

whilst clearing a wilted flowerbed
that never took – some plants will
die rather than entertain us/ See –

it has left a scar – laid to fade – as
if a photo [or irked recall] of hated
families in hats & drunk on tables

& all will be gone/ I will wait for it –
a digging – here earth is exposed
& rich – we will attend committals

of tears & shaking hands [when &
if we can]/ They’ll speak of stuff in
low voices/ Please bury me quick

you make me sick – but nothing’ll
kill me now – death is that escape
I cherish/ See – my scar has faded

& my mind is now cleared/ Refrain
& do not consider that past or that
future that is never here [an analyst

advised me]/ I told that woman all
about those lies on sheets – paper
not silk/ See – we are too common

to know anything other than soaps
& slugs from bottles/ Your body is
not yours [less so after obsequies]

& other kinds of petite mort [we all
squirt if sliced – warm ichor & guts
will spill & our weddings will wither

without wine & kindness] – just like
a man I once knew – his dignity sat
him straight & sure [of his essence]

until he heard what she had denied
[he cried bent-doubled]/ No hint of
a gospel ever uttered [again] to him

in lost vows [or rum negotiations]/ I
walk under trees to avoid hard light
from high [my days are shortened]/

There was a compass in my shoes –
it knew magnetic north but nothing
more – I was about six – it was mine –

before it was dislodged – or stolen?
There will be weddings [& funerals]
I will not attend – because of words